Thursday, August 03, 2006

Fat and Everything

Fat and Everything
VH Melville
I am scared. I have had some health problems as of late. I went for a medical appointment the other day and found out that I am most likely under-fat. I am not under weight though. My BMI is 22 . 1 I made sure I went by the weight watchers healthy assessment. I am 117 if anyone wants to know.
I am only 5 foot 1 inches tall well maybe 5ive one and quarter. Though many people who know me from the internet and through my writings always thought I’d be taller.
When I started WW my weight was 234.8 and my BMI was 44.4 My pregnancy weight topped out at around 250.
I am adding 4 to 5 points a day until I hit my goal weight of 125 to 132. It would be too easy to be unhealthy again. I could use this as an excuse not to journal. There are no more excuses. The old me would have vacationed and went back into the same habits. I used my journal even though it got ugly today.
Love yourself and get healthy.
Not all body fat is bad. Not all fat is bad. I got very obese after losing the weight the first time through
Fat free baked goods. I could kick myself for taking a break after I goaled but I realize that most of us take breaks until were more unhealthy than before.
I lost weight because I wanted to look on the outside how my husband made me feel on the inside. I also got tired of having to sleep 13 hours just to feel rested. I was tired of the weak ankles. I was tired
of not finding nice clothes. I was sick of the stretch marks. I felt pretty just unwell.

Last night I wasn’t perfect. My journaling was sketchy/ugly and exercise was non existent. I kept adding and removing points I am sure I got something wrong by mistake. I am human. I had pineapple chicken I used the sweet and sour points in the WW book which I feel should be similar. I used my flex points and my new extra points. I measured it. The food was delivery. I also put some of the food back which I ate for breakfast. I gave the rest to my husband for dinner. I had some leftover points but I chose oatmeal and fruit but I wouldn’t have had these points if I ate the whole thing. I am also a bit more feeling like binging now which I’ve decided not to do.

Updated: I decided to make moderation easier for all.


Anonymous thinkoffthefat said...

Hi Iportion, I tried to leave a comment on your site two days ago and it came up saying Google Error? I had to give up I don't know where Google even came from. Let's see if this takes. Instead of letting the computer frustrate me, I just leave it alone when it denies who I am. Thanks for the v&c. You worry me to hear your fat is very low. Since you lost so much weight (congratulations again) why do you continue to diet per se? Isn't it about maintaining instead of dieting after you reach a goal? You must still have the slim body but the fat mentality. Will we ever be able to trust ourselves around food and its attraction? I am on a diet break again. Someone kick my butt and get me started again. Take care of yourself. Did you know it is dangerous for very young children to eat anything low fat? Fat is what their brain functions on. God Bless you.

6:26 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

I'm keeping you in my prayers. Life is a juggling act. It's finding the niche that fits each of us that is challenging. I know in my heart you will do it. You are one of the most down-to-earth people I've come to
know on here.

6:48 AM  
Blogger TC said...

{{{hugs}}} you are in my thoughts and prayers. It is so hard to find a balance on this whole journey. But reading what you have written, you sound as though you are really determined to be healthy. And as long as that is your goal, you should be okay.

7:49 AM  
Blogger Catalogrrr said...

You are amazing! Thanks for articulating a lot my feelings in this post. I don't want to go back to where I was, either. Since reaching goal about 16 months ago, I've regained 15 pounds. I've spent the past few months losing and regaining the same few pounds over and over again. Presently, my BMI is at an unhealthy level but I am determined to never get back to where I was. I can't do that to myself. I worked so hard to get to where I am. Thanks again for a fantastic post. I take comfort in the fact that we all struggle with this. You should take comfort from that, too.

8:22 AM  
Blogger iportion said...

Yes I had a few Google errors a few days ago myself.
Thank you so much for the post.
I have been maintaining but I have to do all the same things like journal but eat more food.
Maintenance is never automatic or easy. I don't view journaling what I eat as a diet but as something I have to do to be healthy. See diets do not teach people how to automatically eat like a naturally thin person. I made the mistake in the past and gained more weight. I wrote this post so people know that bodies can be different so that some. I also want to make these gains healthy. I've thought I didn't need to do this before to maintain and gained it all back and then some. I am also seeking help of medical professionals.

Chris thank you. You are such a sweetheart. Your comments always lift my spirit.

Yes it's about health to me. I want to be healthy. It's fun to be a smaller size but I want to be healthy. I don't have to be the thinnest woman in the room. There will always be someone thinner and that's not always the best.

Catalogrrr thank you we all struggle through this. It doesn’t matter is someone has 15 pounds to lose, 100, 50, 5 or even if the person needs to gain to be healthy. We are in this together.

10:27 AM  
Anonymous Hope4Baby said...

Good Luck, I have a few friends that have a hard time eating heathly and gaining weight. I hope that you are able to find a good balance.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Slim Suzy said...

Sorry you have had some health problems. You have done an amazing job losing all that weight and now it is time to enjoy those extra points you can have. You can still eat healthily, as I know you want to.
I think that is the great part about WW. It isn't a diet, it is a way of life and life is meant to be enjoyed.
Take care and thanks for your comments to me.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Candee said...

"I lost weight because I wanted to look on the outside how my husband made me feel on the inside." This is such a powerful quote! I used to say something very similar... I want to look on the outside like I feel on the inside.(No husband to make me feel that way! LOL) I am 41 but I feel much younger, I also feel sexy and fun. I so much want my outside to match!

I love reading your blog and you really motivate me to do my very best for myself! Thanks so much!

9:13 PM  
Blogger Jared Wash said...

Reading this post has really brought my past back as I was very concered with very thing about me and nothing was good enough. I believe the only thing you need is to feel good about yourself and live life with less worries. You seem to be an incredible person and it hurts me to hear someone struggling. It is all up to you want you want with yourself and your life. Life is too short to worry. Good luck and God bless...

11:00 PM  
Blogger iportion said...

Thanks Candy and Slim Suzy for posting :-) Candy your exercise motivates me.

Slim Suzy you hit the nail on the head. I fon't feel like I am dieting anymore. I didn't when I found out I can have candy on easter. :-)

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gday Iportion, thanks for commenting on my blog :) Seem to get a lot of Americans pass through there!

I know how you feel with the whole balancing act, although you realise that you have a problem and are now trying to fix it, thats half the battle!

Awareness is key. Good on you for putting this concept out there its a very relevant and widespread "problem" and I think it should be addressed more than it really is.

Good luck!

11:17 PM  
Blogger Cuerpo Aztlan said...

Keep it up it is inspiring!!!

10:23 AM  
Blogger TC said...

I just dropped by to let you know I added you to my blogroll for skinnier ever after.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Robert W said...

Yes, you have done an amazing job losing and keeping the weight off. Sounds like you must be pretty muscular if your BMI is 22.1 and you are underfat.

Great work.

11:06 AM  
Blogger iportion said...

Robertmot as muscular as I would like to be just more boney.

Thoughtfull, I love your name.

TC, jARED cUERPO thank you for your posts
All these posts have been helpfull.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Spider63 said...

Exercise will help you gain weight (muscle tone). Good luck!

9:42 PM  
Blogger TrixieBelden said...

Hey iportion -

I thought your posting was very powerful. I'm glad you are working on taking care of yourself.

Thanks for visiting my blog and your comment. I like your idea about making my own tortillas.

Best of luck to you. I'll visit again soon.


10:57 PM  

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